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January 26 the blog lives!over a year has passed since i really said anything of any interest whatsoever here. at one point, i thought perhaps i’d do away with this page altogether, but every time i mentioned it, i was met with protests and urgings to rethink my silly decision. and here i am!
if i were to truly recount everything that’s happened since the last major update, this entry would be so long and ridiculous that not only would you all give up on reading it, i’d give up on writing it halfway through! so i’ll let you all know where i am now and we’ll just go from here…
i decided a while back that florida was really just not for me, and that i missed everything about new york, and that i really had to go back for the sake of my soul. however, at that time, i was still adverse to the thought of long cold winters, so i figured i’d spend the summer back at the ranch – hiking, skydiving, being with all my old friends – and then find a new warm place to spend my winter.
my return to the Hudson river valley was exhilarating! back in the gunks doing all my favorite hikes, breathing in the views of the valley and letting waterfalls splash down on my head – reconnecting with all my old friends, visiting our old favorite haunts and creating new crazy traditions and rituals – flying in the soft blue sky and looking down on the mountain ridge, the Hudson river, out at the catskills – i was finally home. every single day i looked around myself and exclaimed, “i am so happy here!!!!!”
and yet the quandary of the cold winter…one day i was back modeling for a group of artists who have been drawing me for years and years. during a break, i expressed my thoughts to one of the artists who has become a friend to me. he asked, “have you ever spent a winter here?” i thought about it and realized the only winter i’ve spent in new york was in the city. he said, “the whole place transforms. all the things you love to do take on a new life.” we discussed this for a moment, i got back up on the stand, took my next pose and thought, “i’m staying.” i was overjoyed!
upon this realization i totally immersed myself in the skydiving world, knowing it would virtually disappear over the winter. my friendships with this group of people deepened and bloomed and i am amazed at the closeness i feel to this family. among them, i have found a new love. his name is Robert, he is a carpenter, he is generous and caring and spontaneous and fun and silly and wonderful. after we had barely become a couple he agreed to come to Minneapolis with me and spend thanksgiving with my family. they loved him and he took to them with the greatest of ease (i still love my mother’s reaction: “he’s TERRIBLY good looking! you didn’t tell me how good looking he is!!!)
my parents celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary this year, and rather than the children planning the party, they insisted on taking the whole family on a cruise over Christmas. you can imagine with how little resistance they were met when they proposed this idea…
we all met in LA: parents, sisters, brothers-in-law, nieces, nephews, and me J we climbed aboard the Carnival Paradise and set sail into the night. our first port was Catalina island – i was giddy at this thought as i’d never been there and you all know i get a little excited at the prospect of a new place and a new grand adventure! Catalina is a tender port – the port is too small for the actual ship to dock there, so they anchor away from the land and have a smaller boat carry passengers back and forth. i was on the deck awaiting the clearance to go explore when the captain made the announcement that the seas were too choppy and it would not be safe to run the tenders. i exclaimed, “WHAT!!! NOOOOO!!!!! I’M SWIMMING IN!!!” yeah, that really wasn’t going to happen, so we continued sailing to our next port: Ensenada, Mexico.
i had actually been to Ensenada once before while on tour with American Family Theatre. this time, my niece, Kaylee, and i decided we had no desire to do lots of shopping and get sucked into tourist traps, so we took off away from the main drags and wandered the streets of Ensenada. we bought delectable sweets from the panificadora and savoured meat and potato empanadas made by a beautiful old Mexican woman in a shack on the street corner. we drank jugos frescos while sitting in the warm sun. what a wonderful day!
back on the ship we did all we could to not gorge ourselves on free food to the point of misery J my sisters and i rocked the karaoke and we had our own Christmas celebration in Kaylee’s and my cabin complete with caroling accompanied by my brother-in-law, Jay, on the guitar.
once back on dry land in our mother country, i flew directly to Tampa where my good friend, Ben picked me up at the airport. he showed me the kindest hospitality: giving me little tours of the neighborhoods, taking me to a sushi/sportsbar (???) for lunch, letting me use his laundry room, and taking me to hang with his friends that evening where far too much vodka was consumed…
the next day he drove me to zhills – the dropzone where i once lived and where i had spent the past four new year’s eves. every day more skydivers from the ranch showed up and at times you’d think we owned the damn place. i had been there for three days when Rob arrived, along with another carload of some of my favoritest ranch hands. we had lazy days lounging in tents and trailers and ridiculously intoxicated evenings involving field cars on fire and hot tubbing in the wee morning hours. i only made two jumps the entire week i was there, but it was just as good being with friends and being surrounded by such fantastically positive energy!
Rob and i rented a car for the return trip and only made one real stop at South of the Border so he could quell his burning desire to bring back the biggest baddest fireworks and show them off to his friends.
back to the cold to the snow to searching for a job…i’ve decided i want to get back into administrative/executive assistant work. i’ve loved my crazy random life with all my heart, but the time has come (so says my credit card balance) to have a steady and predictable income. naturally, i’ve begun this search at a time when the market is as bad as it’s ever been in my lifetime. i’ve been on a fair number of interviews and am waiting for the good news. i know it’s coming…i just don’t know when!
you know, writing these blogs might just be as good for me as it is for any of you. i DO realize every day how lucky i am and what an amazing life i have, but when i go back and reread what i’ve read, it becomes that much more apparent. WOW!!! I WIN!!!!!! i love this game J
love to each of you, wishes for a prosperous new year: for your happiness, for your hearts, for your wallets, for your souls, for your perspective, for your gratitude.
it’s gonna be a happy new year. spiral out…keep going… October 21 renaissancethis blog will come back to life very soon. there is so much goodness to share! July 23 doesn't it just figure...i just wrote a whole entry summing up the past eight months of my life, and when i tried to load pictures, internet explorer stopped working and i lost the whole thing. poop.
i'm back in new york. the world is beautiful. my life is amazing.
i don't have the time to rewrite the whole shebang right now, but i will soon.
spiral out...keep going... November 07 summer??? what summer??? i didn't see a summer...somehow five months have flown by. i can't believe it! i can't even figure out what i was doing all that time! well...i can probably recall a few things... june was spent working a lot, skydiving here and there, running away from the world to lay on the hot sand while the ocean lapped my toes with her salty wetness, and chilling in new smyrna beach, sipping cold beers while the pelicans soar above and perch regally on barnacle-encrusted wooden posts. i travelled back to texas for Jericia and Brett's wedding in july. of course, there were many margaritas and much wine involved; but more importantly, families gathered and the sun broke through the rain-laden clouds to see Jericia and Brett join their lives and their families together. it was a perfectly lovely ceremony; and rightly so, because these two are perfectly perfect together! their boys were absolutely precious in their little tuxes. we stayed up into the night dancing away on the floor (i even stole the mic when the dj went AWOL and busted out my own rendition of "maniac" at Jericia's dad's request), then moved up to the hotel room to eat cake, drink more, and grow sleepy in the deepening joy of the fading day. july also brought a visit from my neice, Kaylee, who came down to florida from alaska for a church youth convention. i stole her for a day and took her to my favorite artsy coffee shop in winter park, to Crealde School of Art where i do lots of modeling - and where anyone can bask in the peacefulness of the sculpture garden or see what grand show they have hanging in the gallery (we did both!). we walked up and down orlando's park avenue, ducking into far-too expensive clothing boutiques, winding through art galleries (BELTS!) and paused for ice cream when the sky broke open into a crashing thunderstorm. i took her shopping at a funky pop culture store full of cool things that fifteen-year-olds (or thirty-five-year-olds, as the case may be) find interesting. it was so much fun hanging out with her and catching up. she is such a beautiful young woman! as promised in my last blog, i made my trip to alaska at the end of august! it was stellar, spectacular, and superb! Becky and her family are absolutely wonderful. they live in a gorgeous house in eagle river, just north of anchorage. the beauty of the mountains there truly took my breath away. we enjoyed mexican food (that's alaskan fare, right?), good seafood (now THAT'S alaskan!), pizza with reindeer meat, and lots of great microbrew beer!!! do these people know me, or what? Becky and i did two fantastic hikes - the first at their local nature center. this hike actually reminded me a lot of several areas in the gunks back in new york *homesick* but held its own beauty. the air was filled with mist that made the leaves glow green drenched in moisture. we wound up and down rocky trails until we reached dew lake where we paused to breathe it in...then turned back into the myriad mushrooms and made our way back. we paused on the walkways over the marsh to watch the bright pink salmon swim and splash and play; she practically had to drag me away - the view of the mountains was so stunning with the clouds dancing all about their peaks... the second hike was a larger undertaking - turnagain arm up toward suicide peaks. altogether we spent six hours on this one; somehow it seems like so much more of it was uphill than down! it began in a forested area, the path twisting and turning around trees while giving us glorious views of the water and mountains as we climbed higher and higher. i was ahead of her, chatting away, blah blah blahing about i don't even know what, when i came around a turn and right in front of me was a moose! although it was a young one, it was still massive and strong and very formidable! i stopped dead in my tracks and whispered, "Becky...look!." she instructed me to move very slowly backward - which seemed to appease the creature - and when we were safely crouching behind a fallen log, she said, "now it's ok to take pictures." once we worked our way around his great mooseness, the forest cleared and great open expanses of land stretched out ahead of us (we were still going uphill). the huge rocky mountains loomed up to our left and patches of low scruffy brush were smeared about the land. we saw tiny white dots perched up on the mountaintops and officially declared them to be dall sheep...you just have to trust us on that one our trail took us in to a vast valley flanked by towering mountains ahead of us, while the purple mountain majesties we'd just passed stood regally behind us. i didn't know which way to look...the beauty was overwhelming in every direction! after a valiant attempt to climb as high as we could which was thwarted somewhat by lots of loose and very small rocks, we turned around and headed home. back on the road which flanks turnagain arm, we noticed that many people had pulled over and were looking at something in the water. because we are followers, and nosey, we did the same. and a good thing it was!! a pod of beluga whales was swimming by. after living in alaska for a year and a half, this was Becky's first sighting of belugas...i managed a moose AND belugas (and white dall sheep dots) all in one day! what a lucky girl i am! i also got to spend time with my brother-in-law Todd, my neices Kaylee (about whom you have previously read) and Kyra, and my nephew Jake. we watched movies and silly videos, we went to the alaska state fair, we laughed when i made Kaylee spit milk all over the kitchen (sorry for the squiggly bits, Kaylee). i had an incredible time...and as always...when it was time to return to florida....i didn't want to go. after seeing the mountains in germany, i knew in my heart that i needed to live near mountains for my soul to be full. after alaska, that feeling was only reinforced. i am NOT unhappy in florida. i DO NOT regret moving here. i've had some fantastic times and met some truly great people. but this will never feel like home. my mind was made up months ago that i have to leave here. i've tossed around the ideas of germany, northern california, texas, north carolina...and now boulder...but we'll get to that in a minute. somewhere around the middle of july, i noticed that my kitty cat was getting a little bit round in the middle. yes...she was out whoring around and got knocked up (i DO realize it's my fault for not getting her spayed sooner). it was actually fun watching her grow and get all fat and round, feeding her things full of protein and calcium which gave her really stinky poo. the morning after my birthday i came home and was greeted by her at the door, as usual, but i thought it looked as though one side of her giant stomach was somewhat flatter. she turned around to walk away and i saw blood on her leg. at this point she had aready given birth to one little calico sausage and one completely black sausage. while i was getting ready for work, i watched her pop out a second calico sausage; and when i brought people over from work to see (what a mean mama i am!) she had added a third calico sausage to the mix. it has been absolute joy and joyness watching these four little critters grow - seeing their eyes open, hearing their first little mews, watching them out of their box and running around the trailer for the first time, turning from little sausages into bratwursts...now they are eight weeks old and into EVERYTHING! but they are SOOOOOOOOOO precious!!! their personalities are so distinct and entertaining - i laugh like a moron watching them pouncing all ove each other, wrestling and jumping about...and then my heart melts when they are all curled up asleep next to me. alas, i must find homes for them, for i am not yet ready to become the crazy cat lady. i definitely need a bigger house for that! back to boulder... every august/september my sister Jo and her husband have a gargantuan summer fest party at their house. i was unable to attend again but a friend whom we have both known since high school days showed up. he was updating her on what the old gang we used to hang out with back in north dakota was up to and made mention of Troy Omafray. i have always adored Troy. we all lived in minneapolis while i was married, so i saw him from time to time then. after my divorce and move to new york, we talked and emailed for a while, but i literally had not seen him for something like ten years - and hadn't even spoken to him for somewhere around five. i looked him up online - he's living in boulder, teaching writing and yoga and studying Tibetan Buddhism at Naropa University. i sent him a message, he sent one back, we started talking on the phone and decided it would be good to see each other again. what do you know? i just happened to have some frequent flyer miles sitting there and there was one solitary weekend in october where we both had no conflicts. so i flew to boulder! you know this is not really so terribly strange a thing for me to do... i cannot begin to tell you how much FUN we had that weekend! it was CRAZY! AMAZING! INSANE! i had rented a car and somehow ended up with a PT cruiser CONVERTIBLE! he drove me up into the mountains for breakfast and then out onto the plains to look back at the mountains. we cruised up and down the mountains with the top down, rocking out to old 80's metal songs. we went to a party some people at his writing center were having, but got bored so we kidnapped two of his friends, brought them back to his house, built a fire in the backyard, and he started playing old 80's metal songs on his guitar while i sang away. when his friends got scared, we took them back to the party and drove up the mountain to sit between the sparkling stars and the christmas-light maze of boulder. we went on a glorious hike where wheezing in the thin air made my lungs want to bleed; but it was all worth it when we reached the rocky peak high above the flatirons and sat overlooking the town far below in the clean air, warm sun, and many ladybugs. he and his roommates threw a dinner party for a friend of theirs so Troy and i took over the kitchen, drinking much wine, doing stupid yoga poses, cooking away until a fabulous feast was sitting on the table and we all drunkenly dug in. the last night that i was there, he, his roommate Cory, and i all went out to a cool little brewpub for dinner. it had been significantly colder that day, so we had put the top back up on the cruiser. however, after a few beers and looking at the clear night sky, i decided it would be a great idea to put the top down. we can just crank the heat! poor Cory in the back started to get cold, so i offered him the passenger seat in the front where i was sitting...then i could just sit on his lap! Troy kept repeating, "we are so getting arrested....we are so getting arrested..." the radio stations in boulder leave everything to be desired, so we stopped back at the house for Troy's ipod. he also grabbed warmer garb for himself, and emerged from the house with a big fuzzy blanket which he wrapped around me. we resumed our positions: Troy behind the wheel, Cory in the passenger seat, me on Cory's lap with my legs stretched out into Troy's. we cruised up the side of the mountain, Pantera and Rage Against the Maching blaring from the stereo, all rocking out like idiots, laughing our faces off!!! the moon glowed with giggles up above us and we didn't even care when it started to snow... we paused briefly at the lookout to sing Jeff Buckley songs and returned to the house filled with giddy excitement and loving life. more than once while i was there, Troy mused, "you should move to boulder." the more i think about it, the more i like that idea. i hadn't really considered it until now because i'm a spoiled baby and haven't had to endure a cold winter for years; but that town has incredible energy, gorgeous mountains, a drop zone just to the east, denver just to the southeast, loads of artistic people and free thinkers, open and contemplative minds which i struggle to find here in central florida. granted, nothing is set in stone yet. i will stay to enjoy the warm sun, sands, and skies of the sunshine state for the winter and into the spring and will start making concrete decisions after the new year. in the meantime, i'm going back to boulder for thanksgiving . when two people have that much fun in the kitchen together, they really are obligated to host orphan holidays for their friends who have nowhere to go! by that time i will have made my 600th skydive (about time!!! and i still can't hold a head down). i will be in north dakota with my family for christmas and as far as i can tell right now, at a florida drop zone for new year's eve. once i have secured my destination and time frame on moving in the spring, something i would really, really, really like to do is to go spend about 3-4 weeks in new york. i'm WWAAAAYYYY past due for a visit, and at that time, i'd have enough freedom to spend time in the city, spend time upstate, see skydiver friends, actor friends, artist friends, skydive, hike, even work! so i'll see what i need to do to make that happen. i wonder how my kitty would fare making a trip like that? hmmm.... i am feeling so good in the essence of my being right now. not just one of those fleeting moments of joy and clarity, but truly good about my place in the universe and really excited for what is to come - whatever that may be! embrace your true selves and acknowledge their beauty. celebrate this moment - and this one - and this one - because they are gone before you realize what they hold. the dice are always rolling...witness the everchangingness of everything you know - including yourself - and know that you will always be changing and IT IS GOOOOOODDDDDDDD!!!!!! feel the love. love yourself. spiral out...keep going... June 01 is it just me?or do other people in this world have this much randomness occur in two months????? as far as my living situation is/was concerned, mr. very nice skydiver who agreed that it would be a great idea for me to stay in his trailer for the summer up and disappeared without saying a word. in the week or so before this happened, he was not around much, but i would see his truck here and there - i left phone messages checking that everything was ok, i even left notes on his trailer asking him to call me to sort out all the details. however, i wandered out of my tree-engulfed tent haven one morning to find that he had hitched up the trailer and everything was gone. needless to say, i wasn't exactly pleased. i began considering my options, as the heat and humidity of summer were creeping toward us and i knew i didn't have too much time. i put my name on the waiting list for a slot in aforementioned little trailer park off to the side of skydive deland and began trailer hunting. i recalled that my girl, Kim - in new york - had a trailer at one time and i knew that she wasn't living in it at the time...so i inquired, and i won! she had been trying to sell it, but to no avail - and told me that she and her new hubby would bring it down for me, and that i could just take over payments on it and live in it as long as i like. WHO HAS THE GREATEST FRIENDS IN THE WORLD?????!?!?!?!?! ME ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!!!!!!! so aside from the brilliant fact that they brought down my new home for me just after a slot opened up, i got to catch up with an absolutely beautiful human being and her wonderful husband. the trailer is far more than i actually need (recall...i had been living in a tent...) but i am exceedingly comfortable in here - and have set up my tent in my yard as a screened-in-outdoorsy-lounge area. the other denizens of the park have actually been known to come hang out in my tent when i'm not even home! must be the christmas lights... i got the fabulous news that my bestest friend in the world is getting married in july. she lives in houston at the moment, and has been back and forth from texas to nebraska to texas over the past few years. we were coming up on nearly three years since we had last seen each other and had been thinking for some time that this fact was absolutely unacceptable. mind you, i WILL be in her wedding, but i had some other feelings on the matter. i called her and said, "i know that i will see you at your wedding, but you'll have lots of people there demanding your time and attention...and i feel like being selfish and having you all to myself." she wholeheartedly agreed - and we figured that cinco de mayo is the perfect weekend to spend in texas! once i knew this was going to happen, i also knew that i couldn't be in texas without seeing my sweet baby, Joey (you will see him in previous entries from the time that he lived in boston). he's now working at a tattoo shop in dallas, so i decided to fly into dallas, spend a day with Joey, then take the bus down to houston to see Jericia. i met up with Joey, his boss and his boss's fiancé when i arrived in dallas. we hit a very cool oyster pub, ate great food, did LOTS of shots and drank LOTS of beer, danced around like fools and laughed and laughed and laughed! the next day Joey and i had mexican food and margaritas for lunch (yes!) and spent the afternoon hanging around the shop where he works. around the middle of the afternoon, we headed toward downtown where i was going to catch the bus to Houston. we didn’t plan on the traffic being what it was…soooooo….i missed the bus (oops!). i called Jericia to let her know, and she – being the most awesomest friend in the universe – said, “why don’t Brett (her fiancé) and i come up to get you?” WHO HAS BETTER FRIENDS THAN ME??!?!?!?!?! NOBODY!!!! so they showed up, we had some drinks, ate some food, had some more drinks, played some pool, had some more drinks (except Brett, who was very responsible and knew he had to drive back to houston! THANKS BRETT!!!), and eventually i said my farewell to my baby and we hit the road. the next day was cinco de mayo – so naturally, we went to del pueblo for breakfast and margaritas. we then went to Jericia’s son’s t-ball game. these boys were SOOOO precious in their little uniforms and their big helmets and their little legs running around the bases! adorable! afterward, we hid del pueblo for some lunch and margaritas. Jericia and i then went to pick out bridesmaid dresses and go shoe shopping. then…margaritas! Brett met up with us and we somehow ended up at del pueblo for…think real hard….margaritas! we talked about going back to Brett’s house, getting cleaned up, and going out to some clubs, but once we reached the house we were spent! but what better a way to spend cinco de mayo??? a lazy morning was followed by a leisurely lunch and it was time for me to go. it is a truly wonderful thing to have friends who you can go nearly three years without seeing…and when you do…it’s like you were just there yesterday. i am so lucky! alas, the trip to atlanta to which i referred in the last entry never happened...too much drama and stress at that moment in time, but i'll get up there at some point! it's not so very far away. but the reference to europe which, at the time i last wrote, was purely theoretical actually came to fruition! my dear friend Lt. Dan who is currently stationed in iraq was scheduled to have his R&R leave in may. he, somehow (hmm....) didn't relish the idea of spending it back in wisconsin with his family, but thought he'd rather travel around europe and see the sights. in his words, he thought of all his friends and said to himself, "who would be the most fun to travel with - and who would appreciate this the most?" once again, I WIN!!!!! on may 10 i flew to munich where i was greeted my Dan and our friend Mike Lanfor, with whom i had worked at the skydiving school at the ranch in new york in years past. he and his wife now live in neuhaus am pegnitz, a lovely little town in the hills north of nurnberg. Mikey and Mary have a GORGEOUS upstairs apartment, all wood with a lodgey feel, spiral staircase up to the sauna and the ubershower, with a perfect view of the castle and the brewery! what more can you ask for? we visited the castle, wandered the grounds, frolicked on the playground (you knew that all castles have playgrounds, right?), and had a fantastic dinner of stadtwurst and local beer. the next day we journeyed through the fields of hops to garmisch, a glorious mountain town in the Bavarian alps. Dan and i had a perfect view of the zugspitze – the highest mountain in germany – from our balcony. the beauty of this place literally took my breath away. we met up with some friends of Mikey’s and went hiking through the partnach gorge. we twisted and turned through sheer rocky walls while the water gushed ice cold far below our path. somehow we ended up on top of a mountain where god – or some other divine being – put a restaurant with magnificent beer and a stellar view of the valley below us. rain spattered upon our heads on the hike back down, but it could not squelch my spirit…i finally felt a sense of home for the first time in a year. we returned to the lodge where i devoured wienerschnitzel, beer, and apfelstrudel for dinner. with full bellies and smiling faces, we all turned in for the night. the next morning Dan and i spent not nearly enough time drinking coffee on the balcony, just taking in the phenomenal view and breathing in the peace. we met up with the gang – and picked up two more, friend’s of Dan’s who live in germany – and had breakfast. Mikey and his contingent went out for a bike ride while Dan and I paired up with Tony and Madeline. we made a brief stop in the town center of garmisch where they were celebrating their fruhlingsfest. we all took turns trying on lederhosen and dirndl; then Dan and i took delight in the fact that there was an authentic polka band playing in the square (yes. we danced in the street) AND a beer stand right nearby. we drove out to the base of the mountains where we took a gondola ride up to the top of the zugspitze. clouds had been moving in and out all morning; and when we arrived, the mountaintop was cloaked in a foggy haze. we stepped inside to the restaurant for weiBwurst and beer (go figure!) and while we were sitting there the clouds all blew out, revealing the most magnificent views of snow-capped mountains and deep valleys. the wind blew frigid against our faces but i still found it necessary to go outside and dance when it began to snow J we took a very slow trainride back down the mountain and returned to the lodge for dinner and beers (do you see a pattern forming?). that night Dan and i went out on the great garmisch pub crawl. we just started down one street and decided to stop in every pub we came across for a beer. we gave written reviews of each (more like “scrawled on a piece of paper from my purse which happened to be my military pass to get into the lodge,” tried some good beers, some not so good beers, and met loads of great people. the night ended in an irish pub where irish car bombs put me completely out of commission… but what fun we had! our last day in garmisch was spent touring Neuschwanstein, the fairy tale castle of King Ludwig II. this structure is absolutely stunning, ridiculously ornate, and entirely breathtaking. during the walk back to the car, we hiked down to where an ice-cold stream settled into frigid pools…i still couldn’t help but stick my head into the water! we climbed around on the rocks like little goats until it was time to go. our last night at the lodge was spent drinking beer in the hottub and doing laundry to prepare for the next leg of our journey. the next morning Dan and i caught the train to munich. it was our plan to head straight to the hofbrauhaus, the greatest beer hall of all history in all the world and all of creation, but we were sidetracked briefly by the beautiful architecture, Mongolian street performers, and various sights in this great city. i arrived at the hofbrauhaus all giddy, and ordered my liter of dunkelbier with delight! we left the hofbrauhaus on a mission: to visit the Bavarian Filmstadt and ride the creature from “The Neverending Story.” all we were going on was one little picture in a travel brochure – no clue if the creature was actually even there – no clue if we could even touch it. but this was our mission. we arrived, paid our admission to the studios, and were told, “the tour is in german.” yeah. we didn’t really care. we toured sets and saw props from “Das Boot,” “Enemy Mine,” and… “THE NEVERENDING STORY!” we entered the room and saw the creature there in all its glory, all soft and white and calling to us. the tour guide was babbling on in german – i caught a few words here and there – and heard her say, “Sie konnen..something something…setzen” i knew enough to know she told us we could sit on it. me? i have no shame. i was all over that thing!!! WHEEEEEE!!!!! our work here was complete. we walked back toward the hofbrauhaus, stopping for pizza and beer in what appeared to me munich’s version of little italy – where the menu was in german but the clientele all spoke Italian. i was having language wars in my brain! we watched boys in wetsuits surf on the canal before returning to the hofbrauhaus where many more liter beers were consumed and i got to conduct the band! we somehow met up with a group of people from minnesota (?) who were heading out to an irish pub (should’ve learned my lesson in garmisch). after they bought us those shots of Jamison i was totally wrecked and poor Dan practically had to drag me to the train to get to the airport to catch our flight to athens! we arrived in Athens the next morning hung over, hot, achy, and tired (i know, nobody’s fault but my own!). Dan managed to find the most fantastic hotel in the entire city. the Fresh Hotel is ultra-modern, all stark white with low couches and funky floral arrangements, and big splashes of orange, fuschia, and bright blue all over – not to mention the greatest shower i’ve ever had the pleasure of standing in. the rooftop of this hotel is known as the “open air lounge” – futons are scattered about and covered in big poofy pillows. techno music is piped in and the energy is very chill and relaxed. we spent many hours up here drinking bottle after bottle of wine, staring at the stars and gazing at the acropolis glowing on the horizon. we did spend our one full day in athens wandering the city and visiting all the great ruins and monuments: the library and arch of hadrian, roman and ancient agora, the acropolis, the olympic stadium, the temple of olympian zeus – it is mind-boggling to see these places – and to think that these ruins still remain as testament to what occurred here so very very long ago. that, and there were a lot of stones. we flew back from athens to munich and promptly got into a rental car and drove to bamburg where Dan’s friend Tony lives. we spent the night here, where we were able to get laundry done and where we knew we had a good place to stay. the next day we crossed the border into the czech republic and into Prague. i had no idea the wonders that exist in this city. around every corner is a new feast for the eyes – architectural wonders, ornate trims on the buildings, frescos on random walls, towering church steeples and domes… i was seriously flabbergasted on multiple occasions. we spent the night in a quaint and almost sketchy hostel where the girl at the front desk spoke virtually no english – but they DID have a beer vending machine in the common area so you know it wasn’t all bad! we did more wandering the following day, past synagogues and museums, opera houses and theatres, across bridges and up and down hills. my camera was going non-stop! as we drove back to bamburg, we stopped in the town of plzen where Pilsner Urquell beer is brewed. we found a little corner pub/restaurant where we stopped for dinner. our server, a jovial burly fellow, came to our table and babbled something in czech. we looked at him blankly and asked, “english?” to which he simply laughed. we then tried, “beer?” and his face lit up, “ja ja! bier!!” at least we had that base covered! he then brought us menus which were entirely in czech. we just laughed and i was entirely prepared to just point to something and see what i’d get. he took pity on us and brought us menus in german; i could at least decipher two thirds of that! the food was spectacular and the beer was cold and delicious. he would come back to our table from time to time to check on us…he’d babble something in czech and laugh. we’d smile and say, “ja! alles gut!” that night found us back in bamburg where i organized my bags and got to watch the mets beat the Yankees on tv! GO METS!!! the next day i was back in florida, wishing i was still in germany. my life continues and i look forward to things to come. i have been reconnecting with some of my theatre friends in orlando that i’d been neglecting whilst trying to get settled up here in deland. i have been taking some time away from the world of auditions and performing – but will be looking back in that direction before the summer is over. i made some great skydives this memorial day weekend with some wonderful people. i still love my job at Sky Systems and still am doing heaps of modeling work in orlando. i look forward to going back to houston for Jericia and Brett’s wedding – and now i get to look forward to going to ALASKA! my older sister, Becky, lives just north of anchorage with her family. i first entertained the notion that i’d like to visit alaska in high school. now, 47 states and 20ish countries later, i have made plans to go over labor day weekend. i dare say i’m overdue. more hiking in the mountains!!! yes yes yes!!! the days between now and then will be spent working a lot to get ahead, and playing a lot to balance out the working! i need to somehow hit a baseball park this summer – even if it’s minor league. i’m sure the beach will find me on more than one occasion. safely assume i’ll be falling and soaring through the sky repeatedly with a ridiculous grin on my face. i’ll keep fingers crossed that the hurricane season is as mild as it was last year. i look forward to hearing from each of you to know what is happening in your world. i send you the glory of the alps and the majesty of the acropolis, the simplicity of the lilacs and the grandeur of ancient gothic cathedrals. peace in your hearts and minds. and always love. spiral out...keep going... amy
March 25 lo these many monthsi can't believe how fast the time flies!...and how amazingly crazy this life is!
christmas was awkward only in theory - in reality, spending the holiday with my ex-boyfriend's family,-whom i had never met before- was a truly wonderful experience. they were all extraordinarily welcoming, generous, fun, and caring. as is typical in my world, christmas was filled with lots of good food, lots of good drink, gifts, laughter, and an all-day marathon of "a christmas story". well, maybe the marathon isn't so typical in my world, but the rest of it was thoroughly enjoyable.
speaking of thoroughly enjoyable, i practically immediately followed up that journey with a drive out to zephyrhills for new years. it was part work/mostly play...i was there representing Sky Systems: demoing helmets, answering questions, washing visors...and when that wasn't happening i was reconnecting with friends whom i see far too rarely, falling out of planes and helicopters, and doing some crazy partying! WHEEEEE!!!!! the party on new years eve left nothing to be desired: we wandered around the dropzone from the fire to the dancing people by the band to the rave in the bunker...the beer line burned in flames while fireworks lit up the sky. i had my good friends all around me and fell asleep with a smile on my face.
the weeks that followed consist mainly of working, but somewhere in there was the hot tub party with all the red wine, a weekend at Sebastian watching swoopers on the beach, meeting awesome skydiver people, and trading clothes (???); a day at flagler beach where some of the greatest skydivers in the world carved their canopies across the beach, fire and beer were to follow, and a night of insanity which proved to be one of my favorite nights of my life (no, i won't give details here
 ). my sister, Jo, came to visit from minneapolis for a fantastic weekend. we enjoyed fruity drinks that made us sleepy too early in the evening, a day at new smyrna beach followed by an amazing seafood dinner at the wharf where pelicans abounded and the sun shone warm on our faces, the Scottish Highland Festival and Games where we decided not to try the haggis, but got to watch actual sheaf hurling (BAAAAAA!!!!) and the caber toss. as we left the park that day she said, "i wish we were on the beach again" and i said, "ok...let's go to the beach!" this time it was cocoa which is quite a bit more commercial and touristy than new smyrna, but the scrabble board made its fifth-or-so appearance and the ocean lapped warm on our bare feet. this beach excursion was followed by another amazing seafood dinner at crab heaven - "where crabs go to die." we tore crab legs open with our hands which ended up coated in drawn butter - cold beer washed everything down and we were HAPPY!!!!
somewhere around the time of her visit, i had decided to leave orlando and go live in a tent. those of you who are skydivers understand this, those of you who do not - it goes something like this: for the past three years of my life, i've lived on or within a mile of a drop zone. i've been closer to nature and have grown accustomed to being able to find trees and wilderness and lose myself in them without having to plan a day trip to do so. when i moved to orlando, i discovered a lovely theatre and arts community, i sought out coffee houses and cafes that have personality and quirkiness which i adore. i thought that i might be happy there, after all. but especially after "miracle on 34th street" closed and i had had very few opportunities to get away and skydive and be with that family of people i have grown to love, i realized that it is critical that i have more of that lifestyle to satisfy my soul and spirit. i began looking online for apartments and rooms for rent in the area around deland, but became impatient very quickly and realized that if i didn't give my roommate notice that i was leaving, i'd be spending another month's rent to live somewhere i didn't want to be. thus, the tent on the dropzone idea entered my mind and became more and more appealing as i contemplated it. i wasn't going to do this half-assed, either. i bought a 10'x14' tent, set up my king-sized bed in there, and started getting everything organized. i hadn't even gotten everything moved in the way i wanted it when the tornados came through. i had heard that storms were expected that night, but i wasn't too stressed about it. i heard the rain come and go, the thunder crashed and lightning flashed, but my tent was standing fine...until 4am. the wind came rushing so hard and the rain gushed down. i looked up and saw one side of my tent about to collapse, so i stood up with my back against it to try to hold it up. many times in florida, these gales come through and pass in two minutes; this is what i was hoping for. unfortunately, this was not the case. as hard as i tried to hold my tent up, the winds were so strong that the corners started to come up. water began pouring in and when everything inside was drenched and the storm hadn't let up at all, i realized i had lost this battle. i grabbed my phone, my lantern, a towel (which was already wet....i don't know what i was thinking) and ran to my car where i spent the rest of the night. i awoke to find my tent only partially collapsed, but every item inside was completely soaked. i was still unaware of the horrors that had actually occurred that night, so when i saw the news footage of peoples homes which had been completely leveled, trees torn from the ground, and that 14 people had died, i realized how damn lucky i really am. to further affirm that realization, my bosses at Sky Systems opened their homes to me, letting me wash and dry everything, store what i needed to, and sleep in a warm dry place until i could get everything sorted out. thank you Yvonne, Doug, and Carey!
call me crazy, but i decided to put the tent back up. but this time i found a little clearing back in the trees - fan palms and spanish moss surround me, vines hang down from the trees, and i wake to bird calls twittering all about me. the trees give me shelter from the wind, and i was wise enough this time to put up a tarp to further protect me from the elements. i have a futon to sleep on, shelves and tables set up, area rugs on the floor, and now...a cat. in a tent. yes. last weekend i was having dinner with Burke and his friend Stacy in orlando. As we walked out to the truck, a little kitten ran across the parking lot. Burke went over to her and pet her for a bit, then as he turned back to thte truck, she followed him. when he opened the door, she jumped inside. she showed no sign of belonging to anyone, and none of us had the heart to just leave her behind. as it is, Burke is leaving for military training for nine weeks, and obviously can't take a cat. Stacy has a giant dog that would eat a little kitten in two bites. that left me...and my tent. i love cats, i grew up with cats, and i am now very happy to have my little girl. i named her Katana and she is sweet and well behaved. she cuddles with me and purrs very loudly. so it is no longer just Hundley the stuffed lion and me; we have a new partner in crime
 my living situation will be changing very soon, anyway. at skydive deland there is a little RV park off to the side. there is a skydiver who has a very nice RV there who plans to go back up north for the summer. he plans to leave his RV here while he is away and i suggested that perhaps it might be good to have someone stay in it while he's gone, to watch it and make sure everything is safe for the summer. go figure, he agreed and i should be moving in within two weeks. my housing situation for the next several months is sorted out and i have that much more time to attempt to figure out what i plan to do after that. if you know me at all, you know i haven't a clue! what will i be doing by next fall???? your guess is as good as mine!
for now, i'll stick with what i have here: good jobs and good friends. the people here are not ranch hands, this is for sure, but i've found a good group of people who look out for each other and love to have a good time! i'll be in atlanta at the end of the month for the good vibes boogie and the anberlin concert with Nicole (YAYYYAYAYYYAYYYYY!!!!!!) but that's about all i can tell you as far as the near future is concerned. i'm sure i will end up in new york at some point this year, texas for sure, hopefully to alaska, and somebody somewhere has been talking of europe.
i hope that this year has been treating all of you spendidly, that you are safe and warm and happy, and that you are all surrounded by the love that you deserve.
spiral out...keep going...
February 21 i'm not deadbut for as much as i've been writing here i may as well be! then, again, i very well could have been when those tornados came through! *whew*
give me another week and i'll be back. you know how my life works...
spiral out...keep going... December 22 never enough timei'll try to make this brief as i know the more i write the more i'll want to write...and then there will be the matter of putting up all the pictures - which WILL happen, but i have a bit of a drive to make tomorrow, so i'll just give you the skeletal outline:
Miracle was an absolutely fabulous experience. we closed last tuesday and i already miss the cast.
thanksgiving was spent skydiving and enjoying the company of my dear friends...as well as new ones.
the Sky Systems holiday party had the most imbalanced bottles of booze to person ratio i think i've ever seen (good times!)
i am driving to mississippi tomorrow to spend christmas with Burke and his family. no, we aren't back together. yes, it is a little weird, but i try not to think about it or it just gets weirder. suffice it to say i decided it wasn't the most frugal decision to fly back home, and upon hearing that i wouldn't be with my family, he offered me the option of spending the holiday with his. i'm certain it will be a very interesting experience and i'll let you know how that goes when i'm back.
upon my return, i get to see some of my favoritest skydiving friends who are down for the holiday festivities in zephyrhills. i'll be going there partly as a Sky Systems representative, partly as a skydiver, partly as a social butterfly, and always as one who enjoys the fantastic energy of that place!
more later, but for now, a most joyous christmas to you all and a new year filled with all that is fantastic and fulfilling. love.
spiral out...keep going...
amy October 09 she lives!!!i can't believe this much time has gone by and not a word here from me! every week has been jam packed and has flown by so quickly...i don't even know where september went and we're almost halfway through october!
my trip back to new york was spectacular!!!! when i arrived back in gardiner, the fantastic beauty of the whole area flooded my heart and brain and i actually started to cry. "i love this place so much!!! what am i doing in florida???" were the thoughts that went through my mind. i then proceeded to head directly to the bar to meet up with dearest friends and swill dearest beer
 . the following days were filled with drunken barbecues, joyous reunions, beer and pizza, coffee and chocolate fondue, modeling for those who create artistic works of loveliness, soaring in the cool clear blue sky, and killing time in the office of the skydiving school where i used to work while rain pissed down all about us. if there were one complaint i had (ok...well...i have two..) one is that the weather was so grey and wet while i was there that i didn't get to do any hiking. the one day i was all ready to go, i stopped by the ranch, thinking it was even too cloudy to jump - when it turned out that it wasn't...so i opted to take advantage of the opportunity to fall out of a perfectly rotten aircraft with my friends instead of running off into mother nature's wonders by myself (an excellent decision). the other complaint i have is that there just wasn't enough time to see everyone i wanted to see. there are far too many beautiful people in that area to be able to see them all in a week and a half!!! but as far as everything i DID do and see...and everyone i was able to see...i most certainly have no complaints whatsoever!!! MORE MORE MORE!!!! oddly enough, by the time i left, and once i was back in florida again, i had a new appreciation for where i now am - both geographically and within my own personal journey. true: i LOVE everything and everyone i know in the hudson river valley, and everything i had there artistically and employmentally is still there for me...but i feel that to move back now would be to take a step backwards. i have begun a new leg of this amazing journey here in florida and i am TRULY HAPPY to be here! i miss my friends, i miss the gunks, i miss the ranch, but i am part of something here that i didn't have when i lived there. this artistic and theatrical community is just starting to open up to me. i am meeting absolutely wonderful people and making beautiful friends. i feel in my heart and soul that it is important for me to be right here, right now. i don't see myself growing old and dying here...but i have a lot of exploring yet to do and a lot of jumping in and being here - not just being HERE...but BEING here (know what i mean???)...to do before i am ready to say farewell to the sunshine state.
so upon my return i immediately started rehearsals for The Pirates of Penzance. i originally was told that i would be playing Isabel, but later found that i was contracted to play Kate - which is technically the same role i did when i did this show with Virginia Opera, but that show was an entity all unto itself...and the parts of the three sisters in this production have been divided up so that i have more singing to do than Kate is actually scored to sing (whee!!!!!). i spent my birthday in a full day of musical rehearsals - filling me with joy and joyness - to spend my birthday singing! and had a guinness and laughter filled dinner with a sweet friend. off to sleepy sleepy to rest up for more rehearsals! the show opened on the 22nd of september, and though we've had somewhat small audiences, they've generally been very responsive - LOTS of laughter and smiles!!! i know that i am having a most grand time - bouncing about on stage in my pink floofy dress and long blonde pigtails. the cast is wonderful - both as performers and as individuals off-stage. we spend friday and saturday post-show evenings in the theatre lobby - where the bar and the grand piano are located - sip cocktails and gather round the piano, taking turns singing the songs we always wanted to perform... and perhaps have somewhere along the line...or perhaps will never have a chance to... there have been cast barbecues and cast parties and people running off to see shows or attend dance classes or go to Universal Studios for the day... we are so lucky to be surrounded by such fun and good good good people!
whilst performing six shows a week, i continue my job at Sky Systems. to give up this job would be like leaving a family. i am doing more and more modeling for area art centers and schools. i'm to the point now where my schedule is so crazy, i'm having to turn work down (apparently, everything is back to normal for my life!
 ) i still manage to get a couple of jumps in here and there, take a walk around the lake from time to time, and get heckled by my friends for not having enough time for them. my parents came down the last weekend of september to visit and see my show. it was SOOOOOO wonderful to have them here! my father has wanted to take a hot air balloon ride for years and years, so when he heard that i had made a balloon jump, he and my mother knew that that opportunity existed for them down here. so let's make it happen!!! 6am saturday morning we met Bob (of Bob's balloons, of course) and traveled out to a somewhat rural grassy pasture field where the morning air was cool on our bare arms, the grass was damp with dew, and the sky began to glow with yellow-grey of dawn. we weren't the only balloon company who decided that field was a good place to take off, so soon colorful balloons began to grow and rise all about us, their rainbow colours floated up into the sky and were carried off into the distant morning air. we climbed into the balloon: my mother, father, the pilot, Bob, and myself, and began our ascent. the world is silent and peaceful whilst hovering above the earth in a balloon, until the burner kicks in and the heat of flame breaks the coolness of the morning air. once we reached 5000 feet, Bob and i took a look down at the patchwork patterns of the ground, found a nice big green spot, and climbed out onto the edge of the basket. straddling it, facing each other, goofy smiles plastered on our faces, we grabbed hands, swayed out - in - out - and just fell. yes. we were wearing our skydiving rigs. i'm a little crazy, but not suicidal. the air is so still and quiet under a balloon...nothing like an airplane. it's like falling in a dream. surreal. until you start to pick up speed and hear the air against your ears start to whoosh! then track off and dump...and fly fly fly soar like a bird and breathe and laugh and laugh and laugh!!!! i think i was giddy until about 2pm. my parents LOVED the balloon ride and as soon as they had landed, my father was ready to go up again (is that where i get it from???).
i had to run off and do my show, later met up with my parents to walk up and down orlando's park avenue - no, it's not NYC - but it is quaint and lined with boutiquey shops and classy little cafes. at the south end of the actual park in winter park is a gorgeous rose garden - in which my mother absolutley reveled, master gardener that she is! we went to mass and drove off to the theatre where i was able to join them for dinner before doing our evening performance. it had been a LONG day...so was an early evening. sunday we reconvened to weigh our options as to how to spend the day, and decided to begin by renting an air boat and exploring for alligators. we traveled up and down the leg of the creek a couple of times, and though we never saw the reptilian creatures, we did see several turtles sunning themselves on logs and stumps and various varieties of birds pecking about, taking flight, and bobbing in the water- searching for lunch. the sky was clear, the sun was warm, and the creek water mirrored the trees surrounding us, creating a brilliant picture!
we then traveled up to sanford, to the restaurant where i had my crappy waitressing job. i always said there was nothing wrong with the restaurant - and the people that work there are great - i just wasn't happy working there. so it was good to enjoy the food there again, and to reconnect with the people i hadn't seen in far too long! we followed lunch by visiting the local zoo - which was very impressive and really enjoyable! although...i found it a bit ironic that i took more pictures of the native flowers and berries than i did the animals...but that's me, you know. except for the moment that we happened to be in the reptile building during feeding time and got to witness all the snakes ingesting little dead mice. i found it utterly FASCINATING!!! i could have watched them for hours. my mother was nauseated. we left
 at this point i had to return to orlando for my sunday evening performance. Al and Peg wandered the streets of college park while i sang and giggled and jumped about. we met up for one last beer and i took them back to their hotel. what a great weekend we had!
since then it's been more work model show work model show work model show. somewhere in there, i managed to make it to a call-back audition for the Orlando Repertory Theatre and get cast in their upcoming production of Miracle on 34th Street. i am SOOO excited for this. i have three small roles: Dr Pierce, Mrs Harper, and Mother #2. i'm especially excited for the role of Mother #2 -i just know this is going to catapult me to stardom
 seriously, though, this theatre has a great reputation in the community and i see it as a move upward in being a part of the theatrical scene of orlando. i have exactly two weeks off bewteen the closing of Pirates and the first rehearsal for Miracle...just enough time to run away to a drop zone for a weekend - or a beach - or find some nature trails - or hole up and study my script - or write poetry - or actually put in some hours at Sky Systems! the truth of the matter is that as much as i might complain about being terribly busy or tired or whatever i'm whining about at the moment, everything that's happening in my life right now is SOOO GOOD!it turns out i won't be a rock star, after all, since Low Red Moon's rehearsal and performance schedule conflicts directly with my rehearsal and performance schedule, but i still intend to be their biggest groupie
 i anxiously await visits from my many new yorker friends who will be jonesing desperately for a skydive in december, for big holiday parties, for introductions to new people and new places, for THE WORLD SERIES STARRING THE NEW YORK METS!!!!! (i have faith), and for a little free time to enjoy some of football season (go giants!), and for whatever awaits me tomorrow - next week - next month. i am constantly amazed, surprised, and bewildered at what the universe sets before me. always appreciative, grateful and humbled. always hoping you all have smiles on your faces and joy in your hearts. always hoping i'm doing whatever i can to help make that happen. big hugs and much love to each of you, even if i've never met you.spiral out...keep going...
amy August 19 this sh*t should be illegalthe fact that ALL of the following events have occurred in the last THREE WEEKS of my life astounds even me.
the last weekend in july found me in sebastian. NOT sebastien my evil ex-boyfriend...but beautiful sebastian, florida, down on the coast...lovely beaches and great skydiving! my friend, Peter, from new york had let me know that he was going to be there that weekend - and as i'd heard fantastic things about the dropzone and had never been there - i had to make the trip! i drove down friday night, landed at a bar and sipped cold beers while watching the mets improve their record (my boys rock!!!). i drove back to the dropzone and found a nice quiet corner to park my car, recline the seat back, and doze off. granted, this was actually pretty miserable. for all the times i've slept in my car, i have to say i've never done so in such hot and humid conditions. a great deal of tossing and turning ensued, accompanied by cranking of the ac until it felt i was sleeping in a little ice box...then sleeping rather well until the cool air dissipated and the heavy dampness of the night air took over.
soon the sun was pouring through my windshield and i figured it was time to start the day. the dropzone was still completely dead at 8am, so i showered and went to do some sightseeing. i drove down highway 1 until i could cut east toward the coast. for those of you who don't know florida geography, there is a narrow strip of land that runs up along the east coast in this area, separated from the mainland by the indian river. there are only so many places where bridges connect the two land masses. so i found one of these places and made my way over to the beach. at this early hour, it was scarcely inhabited. i wandered into the salty water while it lapped my ankles and calves. the fine sand massaged my feet and the ocean air filled my lungs *joy* i stopped in a little beach-side deli for some brekkie and decided to continue exploring. highway A1A is what takes a person up and down this little strip of land, so i headed north, thinking it shouldn't be too long until i have another opportunity to cross back over the river. hmmm....i guess i was wrong
 i ended up in melbourne - about 20 miles farther north than i really wanted to be (oops!). Peter had arrived in sebastian in the meantime and called me. him: "where are you?" me, laughing hysterically: "I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!" i never minded getting a little lost in a new place. gives one a chance to see what's out there...back at the dz - i found Peter and we made two absolutely phenomenally FUN skydives! plummeting toward earth at 205mph is ALWAYS a good time
 and, as it is with skydivers, i met the coolest people there, and ran into an old friend from the ranch that i hadn't seen in years. yes, friends, Norman Love is alive and well in sebastian. as much fun as we were having here, the beach was calling to us...so to the beach it was! laughing, jumping, swimming, being tossed and thrown around in the strong surf, then basking in the late afternoon sun, waiting to dry off enough that the sand which encrusts legs and feet can just be brushed off.... then, as is my favorite way to conclude such a day, we found a little crab shack and gorged ourselves on fresh seafood and cold beers. this was one of those days you wish would never end...but as i had to be back in orlando for modeling in the morning, i went on my way. the next night i was coerced into going out in downtown orlando to see a friend's band play (gee...a lot of convincing that one took...). these were all my peeps i love from the waitressing job i hated. we rocked it out at backbooth, then migrated over to central station where the ben and i karaoked our little hearts out and bob, mandy, and i made drunken asses of ourselves out on the sidewalk. much laughter. indeed.
the next week i met up with a friend i had met at the restaurant where i once had a crappy waitressing job to do something SOOO exciting that i've been wanting to do for some time and never had.... we went shooting. guns. at a shooting range. damn, that was awesome! he had both a glock .40 and a glock .45 and i'll just say that for this being my first time, i did a good job of messing up some paper silhouettes! WHEEE!!!! immediately afterward i made my way up to deland to go jumping with Burke. we made two jumps and decided that, though it was still pretty early, we'd call it a day and head into the bar. a number of beers later, he looked at me with an evil twinkle in his eye and said, "i kinda want to make another jump." granted, some drop zones are somewhat lax about the whole drinking and jumping thing, but deland is NOT one of these. i knew i was still good to go...and then they announced that they were manifesting the last load of the day. we very nonchalantly sauntered up to manifest, fingers crossed and silently praying we weren't going to get busted (...again...but that's another ridiculous story), and asked to get on the load. chicky in the office didn't even blink twice and put us on. HOORAY! only now we both had to pack in 20 minutes - which is fine for me, but Burke is still rather new and it takes him a bit longer to pack. so the mad packing frenzy ensued: "here! close my rig for me while i finish packing for you" "what's your closing sequence?" "is this routed correctly?" "let me do that, you finish over here" and running for shoes and helmets and then we were on the plane. we backward somersaulted out of the door, more laughing (i get a lot of that in my life. i'm so lucky!) falling through the clear blue and the clouds, then soaring under canopy as the sun burned low in the western sky. a couple more beers to finish off an incredible day and my heart swelling with joy as i drove home.
more modeling the next day, and then a phone call from Denis Neal, my fearless leader and founder of team dirty sanchez (www.teamdirtysanchez.com ) he was in my neighborhood and wanted to meet up for beers. gee, beer? let me think... Denis had told me weeks prior that he has connections to people who fly hot air balloons, and that he organizes hot air balloon jumps all the time, and that he's got over 20 of them, himself. so i proposed an idea to him: as the last jump i had done with Burke was my 497th, could we make it happen that i do my 500th skydive out of a balloon? he assured me that as long as i got 498 and 499 out of the way within the next few days, it would be done. who's better than you, Denis????
fortunately for me, i work across the road from a drop zone...so it wasn't all that difficult for me to call the manifest office, ask them to call me when a plane is getting ready to go up, and when i get the call, clock out, grab my gear, run across the road, hop on a plane, fall out, land, run back across the road, throw down my gear, clock back in and go back to work. nothing like having 13,500 feet of air for lunch! by the time friday came around, i had 499 under my belt and i was ready to go!!!! there was a bit of an ordeal with running late and getting there at the last minute *sheesh* but i climbed in that basket and floated up to 6000 feet. i didn't even really think about what i was doing, i just climbed on the edge of the basket - Denis fell off backward right in front of me and i just let go.... it was so silent and still... i felt like i was in a dream. the video is up right here: www.myspace.com/functionalnotfancy 500, BABY!!!!! YEAH!!!! i still get giddy when i think about it
that night i went to band practice. wtf? yeah, i know. shortly after i moved here, at one of those points where Burke was off playing army, i ended up in a bar looking for a mets game on tv (a habit i've developed since moving here...). i was telling the bartender how i had just moved from new york and she said, "oh - these guys (at the other end of the bar) are from new york." so we started talking. they play in a band called Low Red Moon. they will be going to nashville soon to record an album, and then will start playing out live when they return. they told me how they were looking for a keyboard player ....um... i've got 20 years of piano lessons.... and how they need someone who can sing backup vocals... um....i've got a degree in vocal performance... so they said, "can we get your number? we'll probably be calling you" i haven't said anything about it to too many people up until now because sometimes you have those conversations and they turn out to be nothing. but they actually DID call me and i sat in on one of their practice sessions. i REALLY like what they're doing...i've been listening to the tracks they've given me and have all sorts of ideas for harmonies and keyboard parts... isn't this the natural progression of a musical artist: opera - musical theatre - rock band? so they're heading up to nashville next month and we shall see what madness ensues upon their return. i'll keep you posted...
as if this weren't all enough, i got a call yesterday telling me that something has finally come of the auditions i've been doing! i've been cast in the starlight theatre production of Pirates of Penzance. i'll be playing Isabelle, one of the sisters - i've done this show twice before - and this is the smallest role i've had in it - but that's not my concern at this point in time. i'm so very excited to become a part of the theatrical scene of orlando and now i'm making my first big step into it! besides, i just LOVE this show - it is so ridiculously silly! we open sept 21 and close oct 22. we start rehearsals the day after i get back from NEW YORK!!!!!!
this wednesday, as soon as i get off work, i will hop in my little car and point it northward. i will arrive in new york sometime late on thursday and will be there for a week and a half. i'll be doing my best to divide my time between the ranch, the gunks, new york city, boston and saugerties. i WILL be jumping, i WILL be hiking, i WILL be at Joey's barbecue, i WILL be modeling, i WILL be smiling, laughing, dancing
 , reuniting with my friends whom i miss terribly and my mountains where i find solace and clarity. amid all of this, my job at Sky Systems is fantastic. i love working there and i love the people with whom i work - we are so goofy and have so much fun! i have more and more modeling work all the time, i have a standing thursday night date with a beautiful argentinian where we stalk a sexy bartender and tend to get very drunk
 , over one shoulder i have downtown orlando with its throngs of people spilling out of bars and cafes onto the sidewalks in the hot damp night air, over the other shoulder i have skydivers exuding their positive energy, over my head i have the vast sky - gleaming sun, glowing moon, twinkling stars. i have love and sweet words from precious people as constant reminders of the goodness in my life, this world, my universe. i have a very interesting month ahead of me...it will be an adventure figuring out my schedule! but i love it!!!oh, yeah - and football season is about to start. GO GIANTS!!!
hugest hugs to each of you. mit diese kuss der ganzen welt (see beethoven's 9th).
shining smiles and bluest skies.
spiral out...keep going...
July 23 it's all goodi just had such a great weekend it must be recorded here.
friday night i stopped in at the restaurant where i had my crappy waitressing job. now, as much as i dog on my waitressing job, i will fully admit at any time that i LOVE the people that work there - and it is a great restaurant if you want to go get some good food and have a fantastic view of a magnificent sunset on a tranquil lake - i just hated working there. anyway...i stopped in there friday afternoon to retrieve what looked like a final paycheck, only smaller...and was enticed (with SOOO much convincing, you know how i am) to join some good folks for a drink. much merriment ensued, accompanied by very dirty martinis and grand laughter. i went home and retired early.
yesterday i had two auditions, both of which took place in downtown orlando. both went very well...i feel good about what i did, now the rest is up to them. anyway - between auditions, i stopped in at the cafe at DMAC (downtown media arts center) and struck up a conversation with the bloke who runs the place. he gave me lots of leads as far as the arts scene in orlando goes (thanks, John!!!) and told me of a film he's preparing to shoot: Pirates vs Ninjas. how awesome is that? last night at that same venue he held a fundraiser party complete with costume contest/raffle/live music/raucous behaviour/good times. i already had plans to be downtown with a friend, so we snuck in the back to avoid paying the cover charge and hung there until we were reprimanded for not having wristbands at which time we opted to go to the liquor store for giant bottles of beer and to drink them in a downtown alley/parking area. mmm...very drunken fun night!!!!.....
this morning as i was still semi-conscious laying in bed, Burke called. he was on his way up to DeLand to go skydiving and was wondering if i was planning to head up that way. HOORAY!!!! now, mind you, i don't have any lofty dreams of getting back together with him, of him pining away for me, of him confessing to me the horrible mistake he's made...blah blah bullshit. i know he made his decision for a reason, and at the end of the day, i was just hoping that wouldn't be the end of it all. i knew there was a possibility that he would walk away and i'd never hear from him again, and i hated that idea. i DO love him, but i also love just being around him; i love his company; i love his energy. so i'm not his girlfriend anymore - fine. i was just hoping i wouldn't lose everything else, as well. and then he called. HOORAY!!!! it took a bit for me to get moving...but i made it up there, and though we were on weather hold for most of the day, we were able to make one jump together (SOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!) and hung out in the bar, chilling and drinking beers afterward.
this universe is so magnificent. she is so infinitely wise. just trust in her - or god - or whatever you want to call that greater power. certainly, there will be ups and downs in this life, that's what makes it complete and keeps it from being dull and mundane. but she placates my fears. she shames me for being insecure. she nullifies my paranoia. she feeds my soul. she enhances my aura. she fills me with such joy and gratitude for this incredible life i get to live that it pours out of me in tears and song. i hope you all know at least an ounce of this pure beauty...you will know it when it pulsates in your heart. it radiates from your pores. your spirit soars on its powerful wings and the world is yours to hold in your arms.
oh, so much love.
spiral out...keep going...
July 13 i have some good news...and some bad news...the good news first:
i survived my last weekend working my crappy waitressing job! i was SOOOOO tempted to just not go in, but if any of you know me at all, you know that's not how i roll. so i stuck it out and celebrated in appropriate fashion: many high-alcohol content beers, red wine, and martinis! Nicole was there to witness me passed out spread eagle on my bed, my phone ringing and vibrating away on my chest...me = oblivious! WHEEEEE!!!
the fourth was much more low key than i had originally planned...but a beautiful day nevertheless. Burke and i went over to his friends' house, Nicole met us there, there was beer, barbecue, great conversation, and fireworks abounding! it seemed that wherever we looked in the sky, there were grand explosions and showers of sparkley wondrousness. MORE MORE MORE!!!!
i had a most fantastical weekend in minneapolis last weekend. i flew in friday and had lunch with Bearzy and my girl, the rest of the fam arrived that evening and the next days were jam-packed with sunshine, croquet, pool, karaoke, drinks of various types and alocoholic content, grand spreads of delectible wonders, Scrabble games, and general enjoyment of the company of the greatest family in the world (that would be MY family...thank you!).
i have SOOOO many good things happening for me here in orlando. i know i said when i moved here that i have no desire whatsoever to live in florida...but since then i've had some really great transpirings. i have theatre auditions this weekend, next week, next weekend, and the following week. Orlando Repertory Theatre has called me back for four shows of their upcoming season (no, Greg - i haven't had the callback yet :P), i have begun doing some modeling work for a couple of beautiful art centers and have much more in the works, i absolutely love my job at Sky Systems, all the people surrounding me, and all the opportunity that i see for myself here.
and now the bad news:
two days ago Burke and i broke up. i know he doesn't like a lot of people knowing his business, so i'll suffice it to say that it was his decision, but he made that decision and expressed it to me with the greatest amount of honesty, truth, courage, and integrity that i could ever ask of a person. i still love him dearly and think of him as an absolutely amazing person. if any of you try to tell me he's a jerk or that he's stupid, i will personally punch you in the neck. yes, i am very sad...and yes, my heart hurts...but it will heal and i will continue here with all else wonderful that exists in my floridian world.
and now the other bad news:
some of you know of the dog that Sebastien and i had when we were together - Number 2. i entrusted her to his care when i left him, seeing as my lifestyle is erratic, at best. last week i discovered (because Sebastien called me and told me) that when he went back up north this spring, he left her here with a friend of his at the dropzone in zephyrhills (?????? i was a little more than a little shocked at that discovery). he asked me if i could take her for a couple of weeks, as this friend of his had been watching her for the past two months, and (as i can certainly understand) was ready to have her taken off his hands. i am certainly in no situation to take a dog (um...apartment with roommate and three cats??? i think not), and i was getting ready to leave for minneapolis, so i told him i'd try to come up with some solution and give him a call upon my return. well, upon my return, drama ensued with Burke and i was a tad distracted...as one might expect... so today i get the phone call from Sebastien that his friend had had enough (i really don't blame him) and had taken Number 2 to a shelter...and if we didn't do something about it within the next few days, she'd be put to sleep. he also said that there wasn't a lot he could do from Jersey, so basically her life was left sitting in my hands. mind you, i was not exactly thrilled to be put in this situation, as if i didn't have enough on my mind already. but in the midst of all of this (and while i was at work) i began asking around - does anyone want a dog (the sweetest most happy and precious puppy on the planet!!!!)???, does anyone know of anyone who could house her while i find a happy home for her??? have i mentioned how great the people for whom i work are?....well, Yvonne, my boss, and Doug, her fiance, offered to let my little girl stay with them while i found a home for her. so i called the shelter to find out what kind of time we have and what i need to do to have them release her to me. the woman found the report that was filed when #2 was brought in: the owner had relocated to new jersey...the man who brought her in declared abandonment...told them to do with her as they saw fit...and she had been put down yesterday due to overcrowding.
i was speechless. and dumbfounded. and then devastated. she was my single shining light in all the shit that i went through with Sebastien. she licked my face as i cried and she laid her head on my shoulder. even after i hadn't seen her for months, she jumped into my arms and gave me sweetest puppy kisses. she was happy and beautiful and never did anything to hurt anyone. and because some jackass can't take responsibility for what is his, she is gone. i would have done anything to keep this from happening if i had known it was even close to coming to this...and i never had the chance. oh! i miss her so much!
so if any of you want to tell me that Sebastien is a jerk, or that he is stupid, i will wholeheartedly agree with you (and probably expound upon your adjectival descriptions). if any of you want to go punch him in the neck, i will cheer you on. i can't believe my little girl is gone... there is no emoticon i can place here which would be sad enough to express what i am feeling.
but at the end of the day, what is done is done. i will never see my little precious again and i am now a single woman. i truly am excited for all that is to come - the chance to play on a stage again, to grow and spread my wings and encounter new and wonderful people, to travel back to new york for the last week of august to see my peeps again - to fly in the air and frolic in the mountains, to laugh and dance and drink and play (yes! my plan is to be there from the swoop through labor day! SWEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTT!!!!!!), to have an opportunity to be a part of a community, of an artistic scene, to establish myself in a network of people who are driven to create, to explore themselves and to share what they've discovered with the world, to illicit emotion and to spread joy and to shine shine shine! i know that no matter how my heart aches today, the sun will be shining tomorrow and beauty awaits around every corner for me. it's just up to me to find it, to embrace it, and to do whatever i can to become it.
oh, and i've been rerererererereminded in all of this that i ABSOLUTELY DO have the BEST friends and family in the world...possibly even in the universe...i'll do some checking on that and get back to you.
peace in your hearts. a smile on your lips. warmth in your soul.
spiral out...keep going...
amy
June 27 YESSSS!!!!i gave my notice at my waitressing job last thursday. WHEEEEEEEE! this sunday will be my last day...but look how those bastards roll: i work tomorrow night, friday night, saturday night, and a double on sunday starting at 8am *sheesh*
all i know is i have the 4th off, Nicole is coming up, i'll be with Burke and all manner of good things to provide me with sweet release! no. i won't give details here. you'll have to get them from me individually
 hugs for all
spiral out...keep going... June 15 soaking it inwhere does the time go when it’s not around here???
it’s been a month since i last put anything up here and it might as well have been a year for all that’s transpired! but i have to say…i’m so very excited about everything that’s happening and i LOVE MY LIFE!!! whee!
the one thing that’s been preoccupying my time and energies lately is my move to a new apartment. never you fear, everything is going fantastically with Burke, but we came to a realization that we would really be better off having our own spaces. i knew this might happen – even before i moved down here i voiced that possibility to him – so i didn’t mind whatsoever giving him his space back and finding one of my own. i did a little looking online and found a guy who was looking for a roommate. i talked to him for a bit on the phone, stopped by to look at the place that night, and within an hour had paid him the first month’s rent. it was a bittersweet move…watching all of my belongings disappear from Burke’s space…but i have to say it is a great feeling to have my very own room. it’s a nice big room with a nice big closet (and three cats), right next to a lovely lake, and i’m much closer to the part of Orlando which holds the greatest concentration of theatres, art galleries, film houses, and that which is quaint and has actual personality! it brings me great joy to be here as so much of Orlando consists strictly of strip malls and chain restaurants *blech*. i still haven’t had much time to truly explore, but i’ve done most of what i need to do to feel settled in my new home - now it’s time to venture outward!
i’m still working at Sky Systems and still loving it! these people are so fun and so great to work with and for. it looks as though they want to send me to Arizona in October for the skydiving nationals. they’ll show me how to do minor repair work on the helmets and send me out as an on-site tech (who gets to party her face off!!! hells yeah!). as it is still a part time position, i got myself a restaurant job to supplement my meager income. i quickly realized that i’m not really feeling the whole waiting tables thing so much…but for now i’ll stick it out…plus, i work with an insanely cool group of people – and i only know so many people down here – i welcome any and all whom i should call friends.
it’s possible that i won’t have to stick with it for too much longer…i’ve booked my first modeling jobs (wahoo!!!) for this friday. it’s for an art school/center not far from where i now live; it is a tranquil little oasis cleverly hidden behind a strip mall (see what i mean?). quiet paths wind through a sculpture garden, fountains flow serenely while artists create their works in studio buildings of mission style architecture. for those of you who know the peaceful energy of Unison Arts Center in new paltz, it reminds me just of that. i stopped by there last weekend while they had an open house. i introduced myself to one instructor who introduced me to another who introduced me to another who introduced me to another… they seem to think i’ll be able to keep mighty busy with all the classes and groups in the area who need models. i actually said out loud while in a sculptor’s studio, “i don’t have to be a waitress forever!!!!”
i was able to get away for a weekend to go down to boca raton to catch up with my boy, Elvis. he (and Joey) and i go way back to the days of fun city tattoo in nyc. he’s still based in new york, but has organized a grand tattoo tour of the usa for himself. i most certainly didn’t mind the drive down to boca to chill with him. we grabbed food and beers, wandered onto the beach where we soaked in the sweet sun and reminisced about the mad times we shared in new york while a skywriter spewed messages of redemption in the sky. and, yes. i did get another tattoo (surprise surprise…). Nicole (see previous entries) met up with us, as she lives not far from there. she, Elvis, Bobby (from the shop where Elvis was guest artisting) and i piled in the car and drove up to west palm beach for a burlesque show (quite entertaining!!!) and a strip club (i’ve seen better
while i was driving my weary bones back to Orlando the next day, Burke was up at the drop zone finishing his AFF training. he graduated that day and is cleared for solos! i’m so proud of my baby! technically he needs to have at least 25 jumps and an A license before i can jump with him, but i’m sure we can find some way around that… it was a good time teaching him how to pack a parachute in the middle of his living room…
speaking of Burke, since i’ve been here, he’s been gone with the army practically as much as he’s been here. i know i can’t complain…i’m the one who wanted to be here and now i get to live with it. he went for four days of special training to be part of a hurricane recon group. so every time a hurricane comes through florida, he gets called away, prepares the area, rides the storm out, and helps with clean up afterward. he actually got called out of his two weeks of annual guard duty early this week when Alberto came through. he had been out in the field for a week; i hadn’t been able to even speak to him the entire time, and hadn’t seen him for 10 days. he called me while i was at work to say he was coming home for long enough to do laundry, repack and head out again. luckily, nobody wants to go out for dinner in a hurricane, so i got to bust out early and spend the evening with my man. *sigh* since Alberto wasn’t really all that bad, they were ordered to stand down and he had to go back to finish up his two weeks. he’ll be home sometime this weekend…finally!
i have been doing a little skydiving here and there…but skydiving in florida in the summer really sucks. it’s very hot and humid and business is slow. it makes me miss the ranch so very much…i am definitely going back up there for the swoop competition in august! i hope to stay for about a week and do lots of catching up, some hiking, some modeling, some jumping, and lots of smiling, hugging, and laughing!
plans for the 4th of july weekend are up in the air. there was once talk of going back to mississippi with Burke to see his family, but at this point he’s not even really sure if he’s going to go, and i’m not really sure what my work schedule will be if i still call myself a waitress at that point in time. i’m not asking for that weekend off since i’ll be in minneapolis the following weekend! seester Becky and her three cherubs will be down from Alaska and we are all having a mini-reunion. i miss my beautiful family and can’t wait to see them!
so as much as i miss everyone and as much as it kills me to read about everything that’s going on at the ranch, and to know that i’m not a part of it, i am truly glad that i came to florida. for the first time since i moved to new york, i am finding myself in a place where i feel i can take the time to explore a scene, to become involved in it, to establish myself as an artist and an individual. i once said i had no desire whatsoever to live in florida, but i’m finding more and more things all the time that makes me want to stay…for now…at least…
the days fly by and the sun shines hot on the earth. great billowy cumulonimbus clouds tower in the sky and turn deep plum as the sun becomes a fluorescent orb sinking to the horizon. thin clouds streak pale pink across the sky and the moist nighttime air weighs heavy on our skin. all is well in the sunshine state.
big love spiral out…keep going…
May 13 the state of sunshinewow. my first two weeks being a permanent (at least for now...) florida resident have been quite a whirlwind!
as i previously mentioned, my first two days were jam-packed with crazy shenannigans and tomfoolery (but SOOOOO much fun!!!). being here with Burke is absolutely wonderful. he is so amazing! the first week and a half i was here was pretty much a constant party. i can't even begin to tell you how much beer has gone in and out of our refrigerator! last week found us at a fantastic irish pub with his boss, Clay, and Clay's girlfriend, Wendy (these people are awesome). musicians sat in the corner playing traditional irish music while we ordered pint after dirty pint of guinness to wash down our shepherd's pie. our cinco de mayo began with us sipping margaritas while cooking beans and rice at home, then off to Clay and Wendy's house for frosty beers and mexican food, crazy intoxicated conversation in the back yard, basking in the warmth of the evening air and our drunken laughter.
Clay and Wendy took us out on their boat the next day...up the St. John river to lake george...off to a little cove where dozens of boats were anchored, people soaking in the sun, music blaring and water splashing. we snorkeled to an underwater cave and chased after schools of fish, but came up empty handed, good thing there was fried chicken waiting for us back on the boat! more beers to follow...and cruising up and down the river, loving the cool wind on my face, breathing in the mist and marveling at the big blue sky, puffy white clouds, spanish moss dripping from the trees down to the alligators lurking along the banks.
last sunday we met one of Burke's best friends, Neil, and Neil's girl, Marjorie for lunch. they live in tallahassee, but were down in the area for a wedding. i LOVE meeting his friends! first of all, it gives me legitimacy as his girlfriend
 while giving me a different angle on learning more about him  . after lunch there was only one destination: SKYDIVE!!!!!! we went up to deland, where i work, and where Burke is going through the student training course. people get so confused when i tell them Burke is going through his AFF course (the student training course). they think i mean he's going through the course to become an instructor - it is so awkward for all of my skydiver friends to conceive that i am dating someone who is not (yet!) a skydiver! it was a beautifully sunny and warm day, but the winds were gusty - enough to the point where when we arrived, they weren't putting any students up - and i was happy to sit down and just chill with my man for a while. eventually, the winds died enough so he could do his level 4 jump...and i did a crazy f-ed up sitfly with two other guys i met at the loading area. but SOOO much fun and i'm SOOO proud of my man!!! i'm giddy with anticipation for the day when i actually get to jump with him instead of just being on the same plane. soon...very soon...this past week, roommate Scott's girl, Nicole, came up from ft. lauderdale where she lives. so there were more drunken nights out for dinner and hitting the bars...the latter part of the week was spent more in homebody recovery mode. i made a comment to Burke a couple of days ago about watching my spending and he agreed: "you're not new here anymore. look forward to some nights at home." i ain't scared. actually, i think it's a GREAT idea! i spent last night perusing the internet for modeling and acting/singing opportunities in the area. i found two auditions that were of interest to me, emailed my headshot and resume, and already heard back from Orlando Repertory Theatre. i have an audition on june 19th. wish me luck...or broken legs...or what have you...
Burke is up in tallahassee playing army this weekend, and i had yesterday off, so Scott and i went out to Zhills to do some skydiving. and i had some catching up with old friends (and sweet puppies) to do. Sebastien has been working there all winter, and will be heading back up to new jersey to work for the summer this week. so i got to see him before he takes off...as well as my little puppy girl, Number 2. OOOHHHH!!!! i love her and miss her soooo much! she barely even looked at me and had jumped up into my arms, licking my face off. that kind of love is to be treasured. although...i have to say...if Burke jumped up into my arms and started licking my face off, i'd be a little concerned...
my job is going great. i'm working as an office assistant for Sky Systems, manufacturers of skydiving helmets, goggles, and accessories (www.skysystemsusa.com). it is a rather small operation, filled with wonderful people and good vibes - plus, i'm right across the road from the drop zone, so i can clock out, hop on over and hop on out! whee!!! my position is currently part-time, moving toward full-time, currently without any set schedule, hours, or description (sounds about par for the course for my life, eh?). i help with processing orders, customer service, writing correspondence, packaging and shipping, and - my favorite part - running errands: to the post office, the bank, Office Depot, always ending with a stop at Dunkin Donuts, my boss handing me cash saying, "get whatever you want"! she so rocks.
after spending a month touring around florida with AFT and living in zhills for three months, i have always said, "i have absolutely no desire to live in florida." so for me to come down here just to be with a man was actually a bit of an internal struggle. but i have to say...the more time i spend here, the more i discover in the way of places i'd like to explore, things i'd like to see and do, and things that bring me joy. granted, no florida drop zone will ever be the ranch, and there is nothing in the nature of florida that comes anywhere near close to what the gunks mean to me, but that doesn't mean that i won't be able to find happiness here. isn't that what we're all looking for in the end???
i DO miss everyone...and have definite plans to be in new york for the pond swoop...and in minneapolis/north dakota sometime in june/july...and in mississippi with Burke's family for july 4th weekend (whee!!!).
tomorrow will probably find be back at zhills...then back here in orlando so that when Burke gets home i can jump up in his arms and lick his face off
 bright warm rays of sunshine to drench your soul.
and all the radiating love in my heart to each ranch hand who came to see me at the corners my last night in new york. you are my family. i treasure each of you. especially all of you who signed MY OWN headshot and gave it back to me. you are the true freaks. the ones that make me feel that i belong.
spiral out...keep going... May 01 sunshine is in the house!soo much to do soo much to do soo much to do
but a note to let you know that i arrived in florida safely. it was a LONG day of driving followed by a night out with Burke and beer and friends. sunday: unpacked my car, flew in the wind tunnel, went to a barbecue. today: started my new job and realized that i'm entirely exhausted. hmmm...imagine that!
i have much organizing to do...but will write more later. love to all! April 24 crazinesswell, when i said that something incredible is about to unfold, i wasn't kidding! little did i know...
my last trip to florida was fantastic! i flew into jacksonville where Burke picked me up; he had just spent the weekend playing army out in the field at fort benning. so we had a mini-roadtrip driving back to orlando - grabbed some beers along the way and just enjoyed being together again. upon arrival at home, Mr. Very Tired and i laid on the floor in front of the tv, watched a movie and promptly fell asleep.
he had to work in the morning, so i spent the day cleaning the apartment and sitting out in the SUN! he called in the afternoon and said, "how would you like to go to the Magic game tonight?" hells, yeah!!! he got tickets through his company and the seats were superb! we were practically right on the floor. we met up with two of his friends and the four of us took in the game - then off to quaint irish pub for good food, good beer and good times!
the next day i went out for breakfast with Scott (Burke's roommate...if you recall, he's what started this whole thing
) and went for a little walk out on my own. i landed at a corner bar (as i do...), sipping cold beer and talking with the locals, sharing stories of skydiving and scuba diving, travelling and seeing the world. when Burke got home, he, Scott and i went out for pizza and beer...then shot darts and had beer...then came home and had beer...mmmm...sloppy drunk night....as he drove me to the airport the next morning, it was killing me that i had to leave. trying to have a long distance relationship is such a miserable thing...i decided i'd had enough of it...and that i should move to florida. i know i said that it wasn't time for that yet, but it suddenly just seemed stupid to keep having this relationship from 1200 miles away when i could change that. so when i got home, i called Burke and said, "i think i should move to florida" and basically gave him no say in the matter (evil girl...). i didn't really have a time frame in mind, but figured i'd start putting feelers out, seeing if i could line up work for myself, and see what would happen. the VERY NEXT DAY i was online and saw that Skysystems, a skydiving gear manufacturing company in deland, florida, was looking for an office assistant. i emailed them and sent my resume, and the VERY NEXT DAY they emailed me back, asking me to call them. so i essentially had a phone interview, the weekend went by, and they called me back, saying they want to hire me. we discussed start dates and settled on may 8. but that's not all...the woman who hired me called me back two days later saying that her colleague is leaving for europe on the 4th of may...and they were hoping i could come in before then to start training before she was left to run the office by herself. so i told them i could be there on the first. *wow* so a week and a half after i decided that at some point in the near future i'd like to move to florida, i had a job and a start date only two weeks away.
yes. this is my life that i love love love.
Burke has invited me to move in with him and Scott...at least until i get settled...and we'll see if i might want to have my own place...or not...we shall see. it is really rather surreal for me to think that i'm MOVING to florida. i'm so accustomed to bouncing around and going away, but always with the knowledge that i will be coming back here to this place and these people that i love with all my heart. this week i shall pack up all that i own and saturday i will drive my car to orlando. for no other reason than that i love this man and want to be with him. maybe it will be wonderful and my new life will be more than i ever hoped it would be. maybe it won't work out for us, and i'll pack up my car and drive right back. maybe we'll both decide together that we want to move somewhere completely new for both of us. at this point anything is possible...but i just know that i need to give this a shot. i am very excited. i am very sad. i am a little nervous. i don't think i've ever experienced this exact combination of emotions before and it's quite amazing to me to observe what's going on in my heart and my head. i love that at 34 years old i am experiencing sensations i've never known before. i hope i will be saying the same thing when i'm 80!
so these last weeks of my new york residence are being spent breathing in as much of this life i've created here for myself as possible. last week held a crazy camping trip in the catskills (check out the slideshow on www.myspace.com/functionalnotfancy. hysterical!), two days where the wind died down enough to let me fly in the sky amid bright shining sun and sweet smiling faces, and it seems these last days will consist of much drunken debauchery, a final modeling job here and there, sad faces and well-wishes, and finally it will be "see you later". never "good-bye"...because meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends. i am SOOOOO lucky to have such beautiful people in my life, surrounding me always with brilliant energy that feeds my soul. i must be doing something right...so i'll continue in this way...to always take chances, to challenge fear, to embrace freedom and light, to try and convince others that they are beautiful and strong and powerful as i see them...
you are. each of you is strong and powerful and beautiful. i don't care who is reading this right now, it applies to you. i promise.
sing. dance. cry. feel. shout. shine.
spiral out...keep going...
April 06 and so on and so forthcurrently in the city for modeling, auditioning, workshops and coffee. i feel an amazing stimulation and awareness of the vast polarities that exist in this universe. everything is sitting right on top of my skin and something incredible is about to unfold.
or maybe it's just the caffeine.
having Burke here was abolutely fabulous. i picked him up at the airport (with a six-pack of brooklyn lager, as is my style...) and we made our way into the city. the one thing he wanted to see more than anything was ground zero, so that was our first stop. naturally, our second stop was irish pub for guinness and reubens. we met up with a couple of friends of his (the friends he originally had planned to come to nyc to see), two beautiful young women full of sparkle and energy. we hit the west village: sushi, hookah, drinking and dancing...and all was good and well until he and i decided it was time to head home. we got to the subway station and i said, "where's my phone?" wha??? "i don't have my phone." um...so backtracking we went, retracing our steps but to no avail. my phone was gone
 but what can you do??? deal with it another day.back upstate we came, to the skydivers, to the mountains and trees, to the waterfalls and open blue sky. we met Jerm and Heidi for lunch at the corners (complete with several guinnessessess....or is it guinni?), back to the house where it seemed there was a skydiver convention going on - so many people just stopped by the house that afternoon, and out for sushi with Lars and Shannon. there was a movie at the house and some laying around on the couch which resulted in much snoring and slumber by the time the credits rolled.
the day to deal: off to poughkeepsie to see about replacing my phone...for some reason, cingular is a very territorial creature; and since i set up my account in the city, there was nothing they could do for me upstate. i have to go to brooklyn to deal with it. what can you do? off to the mountains!!!
i couldn't have Burke here without having him see the brilliance of the gunks which are so very sacred to me. i took him on a scenic drive to minnewaska park and we walked over to awosting falls. i had never seen them in such a state: half frozen, half gushing, all the spray and splash at the base of the falls frozen into a giant icy cauldron. water that once had been pouring down the rocky walls was now arrested in frigidity and glistening translucent blue-white. the air was cold and the wind rather biting, so after a brief vista overlooking lake minnewaska, we retired to the warmth of the gilded otter in new paltz for cold beers.
a quiet evening of beer, beandip and quesadillas...tv and snuggling...sleepy sleepy...
and it was time for him to go. off to milwaukee to visit little brother before returning to florida and life as we know it. i dropped him off at the airport in the city and went into brooklyn to deal with my phone situation. i received a new phone on the spot and had service up and running, complete with new voicemails, before i left the store! a solemn drive under a gray sky back upstate to resume the random brilliance that is my life.
i was so astounded by the state of awosting falls that i had to return to see more. i made a hike to peter's kill falls - gushing streams were enclosed in icy cages and frozen stalactites and columns created winter fairy wonderlands. every turn brought me amazement and delight and i gasped and laughed aloud at the beauty my mother earth had laid out before me.
that weekend found me at the dropzone (WHEE!!!!), but as low gray clouds kept the jumping activity to the hop & pop level, i opted to revel in the social aspect of the sport, sitting by the fire with beer in hand, catching up with dear friends, many of whom i hadn't seen all winter. i DID get back up in the air last sunday. WOW that felt SOOOO GOOD!!! it was a bit cool, but the sky was clear and blue, and the sun shone down on the lakes and rivers, making them glow like molten gold, and i breathed in the clean cold air, laughing aloud, celebrating freedom and exhiliration, comraderie and lust for life.
definitely much more of that in the near future!
and definitely much more of Burke! (hee...). i'm flying down to florida on sunday for three days...i feel so good about what is happening between us - it's just so hard being so far away. believe me, the thought of moving has more than crossed my mind, but it's not quite time for that...not yet. and it's really difficult for me to imagine spending the summer somewhere other than the ranch. so we'll keep taking things day by day and see where this universe will lead us.
she certainly smiled on me last week when i won tickets to see the Gorillaz play live at the Apollo theatre in new york city! i called in to my favoritest radio station (WRRV...93.7 and 96.9) as they were giving away the Gorillaz DVD and a chance to win the tix. i was shocked and amazed just to get through and win the DVD, but i was so sure i wouldn't win the tickets that the morning they made the announcement, i was only half-listening to the radio, not even paying attention. later that morning, Shannon asked me, "did you win tickets to the Gorillaz concert? they said 'Amy from Gardiner'"...um...so i called the station and, sure enough, i had won!!! WAHOO!!!!! so monday night i was sitting at the Apollo theatre in Harlem with Bernadette and the concert was AMAZING! every song was like a mini-theatrical-production: 14 piece string section on stage, a black gospel choir, video footage, marionettes, guest singers and instrumentalists, lots of smiling and shaking bootie to "Feel Good Inc."!!!
i am to the point now where everything in my life is going so well, it's about time for something to come along and screw it all up. so for now i shall embrace it all and swim in its beauty, hold it close, breathe it in, and give it back out to all of you whom i love dearly and for whom i am so very grateful.
all the wonder and grace of the infinite to you.
dance
spiral out...keep going...
March 17 more McHotterson picsNicole was so awesome as to send me copies of some of the great photos she took when we were all in orlando. thanks, Nicole!!! you rock!!!
check this girl out at www.myspace.com/misskiss6 March 15 sitting stillin case you hadn’t noticed, is entirely impossible for me. back in new york, back at the Lars house, a few auditions in the city, modeling work here and there. i started a new job at a club about 45 minutes north of here. it’s been treating me very well – great people and lots of fun – but it makes for LATE nights (which used to be the norm for me…but i’m an old woman now!).
i’ve made a couple of trips up to boston to see my sweet baby, Joey…back in the day (some of you may recall the wild recountings) he and Elvis were working at Fun City Tattoo in the east village. those were my days of the very LATE nights when the three of us would hit the town and create a commotion
i was graced last week by the grand presence of Rory Bob Kallemeyn (or Roy…as he is known by the general public). Roy and i used to perform together when i lived in minneapolis. he made a trip out to NYC to see friends, family, and a butt-load of musicals! i went with him to see Wicked, which was absolutely amazing. we both loved everything about it and were speechless by the end of the first act!
speaking of amazing…
in my last entry i wrote of my visit to florida to see a sweet and sexy man. during the course of that visit and the days that followed, it became clear that it wasn’t going to grow into anything big and serious, and i am totally fine with that. it’s always a wonderful thing to meet new and beautiful people! i also made mention in my last entry that we had gone out drinking with his roommate…we’ll call him “Gorgeous McHotterson”…or Burke, since that’s really his name. even at that time, Burke had plans to come to new york to see friends of his; so i said that we should keep in touch and maybe catch up when he’s up here – since he’s a really great guy and from the first minute i met him, we were talking and laughing like we’d known each other forever. once i was back here, we started sending messages and talking on the phone…and discovered that there was something much greater there than i had realized. we spent night after night talking for hours and hours, holding nothing back and feeling something fantastic developing. i decided that i really didn’t want to wait until mid-march to see him, so i hopped on a plane and found myself back in florida – at the same apartment – but this time with Burke. yeah, there was some concern that it would be a little weird, but it really wasn’t. as it was, Scott had a female visitor at the same time, so the four of us all hung out together, shooting pool, flying in the wind tunnel, having wings and beer, chilling at the hookah bar. i didn’t want to leave and every time i talk to him i wish i were there with him. he will be here in three days and i’m crawling the walls with anticipation! for the moment, we’re not making any major plans for the future…just taking things little by little as they come and we shall see where they lead us!
aside from that (as if any more than that were necessary???!!!?!) i’m slacking on the hiking and skydiving. we had a beautiful day last saturday, but i had a call-back audition in the city *sigh*. hopefully warmer days are not far off and i’ll be back in the sky very soon. more auditions, more modeling, and if all goes well, more trips to florida
the late afternoon sun casts her golden glow over the wallkill valley. the catskills turn purple on the horizon and barren apple orchards shine silver in the light. i have to go get ready for work. love to all.
spiral out…keep going… |
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